AnthonyLAND

You don’t have time to workout?

2012-02-25T11:19:00.000-08:00

After I posted my last blog post (Nobesity) about this very subject, I gave the subject some more thought; I realized that not everyone has the time or desire to spend an hour and a half in the gym.

That’s completely impractical.

My goal was to inform people, who don’t have much time to dedicate to exercising, on ways they could get a great workout in just 30-40 minutes.

Well, since I didn’t do that very well, here’s an addendum to my last post. It’s the “Who the fuck has the time to go to the gym for two hours? I don’t. I have a job and/or kids, shit” workout.

I guarantee if you do this along with staying properly hydrated, resting, not stressing out too much, and dieting properly (with only a few “cheat days” here and there), you will look amazing by the end of March.

You have 28 days starting tomorrow. That’s February 26^th to March 24^th.

The routine:

You have 5 minutes to perform this entire circuit and rest. That means if it takes you 4 minutes to complete, you have one minute to rest. I suggest setting everything up before you start so you don’t have to stop. Perform this circuit at least 4 times, immediately going from one exercise to the next. Before you do this exercise, make sure to warm up sufficiently and stretch well, then at the end do a cool down and stretch some more.

Start your timer:

Do 15 pushups

High-knees in place for 40 seconds

15 chin-ups (not pullups)

40 seconds of body squats

1 minute of planks

30 seconds platform steps or jumps

30 seconds of lunges

Rest until you reach 5 minutes, then start again.

[If you can’t do 15 consecutive pushups or chin-ups, do half, rest a second, then do the rest. If you cant do 1 full minute of planks, do 30 seconds, rest for 10 seconds, then do 20 more seconds. If you don’t have platforms or step stools, do stairs or, if you don’t have anything, do squat thrusts. Basically, this exercise can be adapted to anything, so there are no excuses].

In total, that exercise should take you 30-35 minutes from start to finish. That’s the 5 minute routine done 4 times (20 minutes), plus 5-7 minutes to warm-up and cool-down (10-14 minutes).

You should do that routine about 3-4 times the first week. The second week will be much easier so you’ll need to do something to make it challenging and effective. I suggest doing each exercise longer, doing more of each exercise, doing each exercise faster, or switching up the order of the circuit. In the third and fourth weeks it will become imperative that you challenge yourself and push yourself harder, or you won’t see much in the way of results.

As motivation, I suggest taking a picture of you right now with as few clothes on as possible. Put that picture next to a picture of someone or something that motivates you, and put those images in a place that you will see every day. At the end of the 28 days, take another picture and look at your before and after. If you don’t see ANY results after following this routine AND dieting properly AND following my tips (which are at the end), then I will give you a dollar. (I won’t really give you a dollar). The point is, you can’t fail. There are no excuses.

Additional Tips:

Along with that exercise routine, you should consider making these changes in your daily life for at least those 28 days.

1. Switch all liquid you consume to either water, 0% or skim milk, or natural fruit and/or vegetable juices.

2. Take the stairs, not the elevator

3. Do not stay up past 11 p.m. and do not sleep in past 11 a.m.

4. Give up fast food, candy, soda, fat, and other unhealthy junk foods for all but one day a week maximum (you can have one cheat day ;)

5. Keep your alcohol consumption to 1-2 drinks maximum a week (if at all. No alcohol at all is preferable for at least these 28 days).

6. And lastly, don’t make excuses. Go to the gym. Diet properly. Don’t piss away your health for the unhealthy or favorable “in the moment” pleasures.

I wish everyone good luck. And as a caveat, I’m not a doctor or a licensed professional, but I have been working out and dieting (along with researching all of those various things) for a number of years now. Some of the things I say come from my own experience and research, but by no means are the only right way. I take no responsibility for anyone hurting him or herself. Take everything you read here and anywhere with a grain of salt; however, while I may not be a professional, I do have a bit of knowledge (here’s proof ;)

Nobesity

2012-02-25T07:41:00.000-08:00

If you follow my Twat and Faceshit, then you know a couple of weeks ago I was having problems with my existing gym routine. That tends to happen: old routines become boring, ineffective, and, well, routine (monotonous).
I knew what I had to do to fix that little slump (we all have to do it every once in a while, unless you take steroids). I went on my little internet and did some research. It took about 35 minutes. I went to YouTube and Google, searched exercises for my specific routine for that day, and read/watched a few new things that I could incorporate into my workouts.
I did that a couple of weeks ago, and for the first week the muscles I worked out the day before would be sore the next day. It was a feeling I hadn't felt in a while, and it felt great.
It prompted me to write this post. Ive written various diet and exercise posts before (just search through my blog to find them), but this one is going to be straight forward. I'm going to give you a sample of my diet and exercise plan from the last week along with a few top fitness and nutrition tips that I've recently come across. You can take this page, print it out, tack it up on a wall, and look at it every day, modifying each item for your own individual needs; I bet if you do my sample plan for 3 or 4 weeks you'll start to see some improvements of your own ;)

Monday: Chest, biceps, cardio

Wake early, consume a protein shake (never work out hungry), go to the gym early (always begin with a warm-up of about 10-15 minutes), come home and drink a protein shake with breakfast.

(If you’re someone who hates morning gym sessions, go later in the day, but remember consuming protein before and after a workout is more beneficial than just before, just after, and not at all).

(Eat every 3-4 hours. If you’re someone who wants to either lose weight or gain weight, keep a food journal. It’s a lot of annoying work, but it does help you figure out where you can improve).

Tuesday: Legs, abs, cardio

Same thing, I went to the gym early as usual.

(Some people hate working on their legs and only work on their “show” muscles (biceps, shoulders, chest, abs), but that’s completely retarded. Your legs are massive muscles. Not working them out is just like working out the left side of your body and never the right. And when it comes to ab exercises, unless it’s a cable crunch or a crunch on the balance ball, don’t do crunches anymore EVER. They’re bad for your spine. Figure out something more interesting, harder, and more painful, and stick to it).

Wednesday: Back, triceps, cardio

(I like to work out opposite muscles together, like back and triceps, chest and biceps. I read somewhere that it was less effective to work out supporting muscles together in the same day (i.e., chest and triceps).

Thursday: Abs, cardio

(Core exercises, not just ab exercises, are the key to trimming down your waist, along with proper diet and at least 40 minutes of cardio, which doesn’t have to be done all at once. You can switch machines and the cardio is still good. Sometimes I’ll start with the stationary bike for 15 minutes, then I’ll run for 15-20 minutes, and do a lighter exercise on the row, stair climber, or some other machine, keeping my heart rate over 140. But I don’t jog unless I’m warming up. Jogging is ineffective and a waste of my time. I always try to keep my cardio exercises mid-highly difficult so I’m getting some benefit).

Friday: Legs, shoulders, cardio

(If I were to do shoulders during my back day, like most people do, I would end up spending 3 hours in the gym and leave having done a shitty and only half effective routine).

Saturday: Abs, cardio

Sunday: Rest

Personally, that’s my routine. But what works for me might not work for you. You may only want to go to the gym 4 times a week, and that’s fine too. Just change your exercises to target multiple muscles and that will cut down the amount of different exercises you would have to do.

As for exercise tips:

1. Concerning eating, eat 4-5 smaller meals through the day about the same time every day. Start your day off with protein, fiber, and healthy carbs like fruit, oatmeal or whole grain bread. For lunch strive for carbs (like veggies and nuts), protein, and agua. (Drink water throughout the whole day. A good indication of how much water you need is: take your weight divided by 2. The number you get is how much water you should drink in ounces each day. For example, I’m 165. That’s 82.5 oz of water a day that I should be drinking. Divide that by 8 and you get how many standard cups of water. If you divide it by 16 or 20 (depending on the water bottle) you get how many water bottles you need to drink ISN’T THIS FUN). For your mid-day snack, protein, nuts, or fruit. Dinner, chicken, rice, veggies, beans, etc. Basically, protein and fewer carbs. For your before bed snack, you guessed it, protein. Like a glass of chocolate milk.

2. Weight training stimulates muscles and tears muscle fibers, but they don’t grow effectively if you aren’t properly nourishing and resting them.

3. Fat doesn’t necessarily make you fat, but excess calories does. Avocado, olive oil, nuts, milk, etc., all represent good fats. You should aim for cutting out saturated and trans fat though.

4. Do more pushups, chin-ups, squats and planks. Those four exercises work out large amounts of muscle groups.

5. (Images)

Enjoy.

Own my underwear

2012-02-20T15:52:00.000-08:00

A few people have asked before to own a pair of my underwear, so I thought I'd help make that dream come true for a lucky individual. I listed the underwear on Ebay, and who ever has the highest bid in the end wins the underwear (duh). On top of that, that person can make a special request of me with the underwear--whether it be they want me to cum on them, wear them while I work out, piss all over them, whatever.

So, if you'd like a shot at earning a this pair go here and bid. [Currently sold :( sorry, but if you wait a few days there will be a new posting :)]

And don't worry if you don't win this time. I'll probably be doing this again in the future with similar items.

Top 10

2012-02-05T12:47:00.000-08:00

If you didn't already know I was a nerd, then after this post you surely will.

So, it's been a few weeks, but I just remembered this. I had posted something on Twitter about literature or poetry or something, and some kid responded. We engaged in a dialogue (basically, a boxing match). He believed poetry was too out of date, and it had no function in today's world. I thought he was a fucking ignorant cunthole (and I let him know that very explicitly).

The rest of that conversation is kind of useless, but the point is I'm obviously a fan of literature. I spent a lot of time in extra curricular English classes studying the Brontës, Shakespeare, Elliot, Barrett Browning, and far too many others to count.

What I'm basically getting at is a list of my absolute favorite works: poetry, stories, and novels. I compiled a list of 10 pieces of work that you should check out.

1.) My number one most beloved novel in the history of history is Call Me by Your Name by Andre Aciman. It's a beautiful, sexy gay love story that left me crying like a bitch at the end. It's well written, and even though there are explicitly sexual parts the story doesn't get cheesy or crude. The

characters are relatable, and the ending is an emotional kick in the face.

2.) The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde. We all know the story, but the real beauty is in the way Wilde writes. Some of the phrases he uses and the way he describes things makes my boner hard.

3.) As I Lay Dying by William fucking Faulkner. I love this novel so much I've actually stopped talking to people for a number of weeks after they bashed it. I can't really describe the fascination of this novel; you have to read it. You should read an online synopsis first so you know what's going on, then read the novel. Then put it aside for a few months. Then you should read the entire Spark Notes description. The you should read the book again. That's how you read one of Faulkner's works, but it's totally worth it.

4.) "The Lottery" by Shirley Jackson. You may recall a little South Park episode about Britney Spears where the citizens end up taking pictures of Britney until she dies. Well, that was based on this story. Great episode, great story. It's a quick read, too.

5.) "The Hollow Men" by T.S. Elliot. Fantastic poem. I won't bother describing it because it's so short, but it's fantastic.

6.) "I Carry Your Heart With Me" by E. E. Cummings. Another poem that you should check out.

7.) "Poema 20" by Pablo Neruda. If you speak Spanish, this poem is great. If not, the translation doesn't really capture the depth of meaning and subtle differences in the words of the original.

8.) "How Do I Love Thee" by Elizabeth Barrett Browning. The trick to reading this poem is to read it to the punctuation, not to the end of the line. For example:

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height

My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight

For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.

(this is part of the original poem)

[and this is how it should be read]

How do I love thee?

Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height My soul can reach,

when feeling out of sight For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.

9.) "The Raven" by Poe. We all know this one. Read it again. Read it carefully. It's worth it.

10.) my final recommendation is for "A Rose For Emily." It's a short story by Faulkner, but it's leagues easier to understand than some of his other work.

Final notes, most of the classics can be downloaded on most e-readers and book apps. As you can see, I'm heavily partial to the classics, but I have a lot of contemporary likes. These people really helped me develop my love for learning, and I hope someday I can publish a novel and that that novel will appear on someone else's Must Read list.

my first gif

2012-02-04T11:33:00.001-08:00

(it plays once you click on the picture)

HERE'S A VIDEO

2012-02-03T15:14:00.000-08:00

Dating 101

2012-01-23T19:35:00.000-08:00

Better WAYS TO SPICE UP YOUR DATES

BY: Anthony Romero (Inspired by Zachary Sire and The Sword)

1.23.2012

Some romances start with banging (literally, you guys just met on Grindr, slow down). You fuck everywhere—mom's house, sister's house, his house, my house... no intense conversations and FUCK NO on dating—but that quickly melts into a "what are we?" rut. Sure, you’re still fucking a hundred other people, but you're wondering if he's feeling the same shit for you that you feel for him when you're all alone and none of your other FWBs are available.

Don’t worry, there’s nothing wrong with you; you're both sluts. That's OKAY. You just need to go out on a few dates to figure out if he's worth fucking monogamously for the next few years or not. Here are a few ways to help make sure that date doesn't blow (bad blow, not good blow).

Flirt
Flirt, just don't ever wink, because only creepy pedophiles wink. and definitely don't publicly flash him! Grab his crotch or squeeze his hand on yours. Covert gestures that others can't see and all that shit.

Whispers Sweet Somethings
You've said plenty of hot things before, (like when he had your face down in a pillow and suddenly lifted your ass in the air and fucked down into your soul), so why not take it out to when you're at dinner or a party(?). When he does something that brings a little light to your eye, quietly let him know or some shit. He'll love the fact that you still think he's hot (and the fact that you haven't noticed he strongly suggests that he goes to the bar alone so he can flirt with the bartender without your fat ass around), and that could pay off later when you're back home (Who the fuck are we kidding? Of course you're going to fuck later).

Groom for Your Guy
It’s great that your relationship is at a point where you’re comfortable eating like a fucking pig in front of the TV on a Saturday morning (off day from the gym, right?), unshowered, and sporting a major case of I'm-hung-the-fuck-over. Nevertheless, you still want to trim that nasty pubic hair, wear something other than cut-offs and wife beaters, and brush your fucking teeth. Keep your hole hair neat to show him you still care about the both of you when he's forced to chow down on that nasty cunt.

Date Night
Plan a night once a week that the two of you dedicate to the most important thing in your relationship—buhlougjahbbs. Have dinner at a restaurant with an intimate atmosphere, check out that romantic comedy everyone’s talking about, or some shit. Whatever you decide, suck his fucking dick. The way to a man's heart is to shut the fuck up and suck his fucking dick.

Surprise Him
"Blowjob." -Zachary Sire

Pamper Him
A little paBLOWJOBmpering goes a long way. A genuiBLOWJOBne compliment, soothing back rub, or his faBLOWJOBvorite dinner will remind hBLOWJOBim that you still think he’s number one. CleaBLOWJOBning his car, pressing aBLOWJOB shirt, or doing any practical chore forBLOWJOB him will make his liBLOWJOBfe a little easier and rBLOWJOBemind him that he’s got a great guy inBLOWJOB his life as well.

Compliment Him
You obviously care about him, suck his dick. Everyone knows the best way to tell a guy you like him is to suck his dick, and since you've obviously been doing it this long you must like it. Compliment his looks, his honesty, or just let him know you appreciate him. Sometimes we assume the other guy knows, but a few simple words can really bring the point home. Romance is always fantastic, but some balls stroking will perk a man up better than any amount of cocktails or chocolates.

Maybe after a few dates, some more fucking, and a few really good bjs, you guys will decide to fuck each other exclusively. But who are we kidding, you'll keep fucking a few of your friends on the side and so will he, and maybe here and there you'll have a few threesomes. Margaret Cho does suggest that the best way to ensure a long and loving marriage is to fuck a lot of other people or some shit. Well, I don't claim to portend the future, but I can tell you that if you just follow my thuper duper thimple tips for a better date, you'll get the best cum shot in your face of your life.

[Original Article]

[The Sword's Article]

Jacking off

2012-01-22T09:35:00.000-08:00

T.H.E. (The Huge Erection)

2012-01-21T13:30:00.000-08:00

I want to write a mainstream pop album where all the songs are double entendres or euphemisms for anal sex and other sexual things; it would go like this:

Album

Song list

1. The Edge Of The Glory Hole

2. Super B(ass)

3. Party In The U.ASS.A

4. I Wanna Go (In Your Rectum) f. Usher

5. Come All Over (All I Want Is You (Inside Me))

6. You Belong In Me f. Taylor Swift, acoustic version

7. Poke Her Face

8. Bi Girls Don't Brown Eye

9. You're The Top (from the musical "Anything Goes") [I actually didn't even have to change the title of the song; this seemed perfect enough].

10. All That Jizz (performed by Catherine Zeta Jones)

11. Jailhouse Cock

12. Ni***s In Paris (Hilton)

Ask Anthony.

2012-01-20T13:20:00.000-08:00

To everyone who asked me a question on Tumblr, thanks! I wish I could answer each question on Tumblr where you asked me, but I didn't really anticipate receiving so many questions; I don't really want to flood any social media site with my answers to questions either. SO, I'm still going to answer most of your questions, but I'm going to do it all at once.

I would absolutely be okay with someone saying hello. I encourage it.

I'm 20, and yes, anyone from any culture could potentially get to shoot with Next Door. It's not about where you come from, it's about your fit into the Next Door model type.

You should make sure to diet and exercise carefully. Cardio may help. Other than that, I can't necessarily give you any specific advice, because I don't know you or your habits. I say talk to a trainer at a gym or do research on the internet.

With a name like Smuckers...

I messaged my boyfriend (who was doing porn alread but wasn't my boyfriend then when I messaged him) and wanted to talk about modeling. He talked to me about applying for an agency he used to work for, and that's that.

I don't tell people what it says. I'm getting it removed as soon as I have the funds.

You fuck him with as many large cocks as possible (not all at once, of course). Practice makes perfect. Also, talk about sex with him. There's nothing wrong with that. I do it a lot, just to find out what I'm doing right and what I could do better. It helps.

My boyfriend, because I get paid to do what we normally do for free, and it's easy, and he stays hard the entire time.

We were horny little fuckers who were attracted to each other. In this case, there was no chivalrous (and otherwise frivolous) dating

Everyone I am following.

Does a bear crap in the wood and does the Pope crap on the dreams of 200 deaf boys?

I haven't been to NYC since October, and before that I hadn't been there in years. It's not some place I go often, unfortunately.

YES, I REALLY REALLY speak Spanish. I've only been studying it since I was a seventh grader in middle school. I don't use it often, because I'm afraid to make mistakes and sound dumb. My favorite sentence would be, "Reza pero sigue remand."

I like comedies, but some of my favorite movies are Avatar, Inception, Black Swan, etc.

In this case, it works great. There used to be a few issues, naturally, but those things just iron out over the course of being together for so long.

20.

Merci.

I have never gotten that, and in my opinion I don't think I really look like him. But he is attractive, so thank you.

(Penn Badgley)

Based on my actions it is a little obvious that I do not believe that I personally should have waited. I have sex with people I don't love every other month. If YOU think that, then that's your choice.

Between 3 and 5 times a day. So on average 28 times a week, or 112 times a month, or 1,344 times a year, or 13, 440 times a decade. Or 0.00277778 times a minute.

Aprendí de estudiar en colegio y universidad. Mi lengua natal es inglés. Soy de Indiana, pero mi familia es borcua, portuguese, y húngaro.

I haven't really thought much about it.

You get to a certain point in your life where it doesn't matter what anyone thinks anymore.

I love Romanticism, Neoclassicism, and the Renaissance, but I also like contemporary. I always enjoyed really dark works (not pigment, subject matter), and I like Raphael, DaVinci (of course), Michelangelo, etc.

I like to fuck with the guy on this stomach and his ass up. Coincidentally, I also like to get fucked on my stomach with my ass up.

No, but he understands it a little. He's black and white.

Gaga's face Madonna's cunty attitude.

Getting into porn isn't hard. Staying relevant is. I talked to someone who helped me get in, but it can happen many ways. Ultimately, if you want to do porn your best bet is to talk to someone who is already in the "industry" and see if they can help you.

I always knew I liked boys, but I didn't discover what gay was for a long time after that.

I am Anthony Romero

I take an appetite suppressant, fish oil, probiotics, milk thistle, glucosamine, tribulus, multi-vitamin, antioxidants, green tea extract, protein, post-workout vitamins, and flax seed.

Your overzealous use of exclamation points does give me a sense.

I think when I was in about 6th grade I noticed that it was men I was attracted to.

If you want to ask me a question, you can always find me on Facebook or Twitter, or you can go to my Tumblr in the ASK section. There ARE certain questions I won't answer, but as long as you aren't rude, you ask an actual question, don't ask me anything deeply personal, or harass me, I'm cool with answering you back.

In the shower

2012-01-19T19:30:00.000-08:00

Here's another video of me, this time I'm in the shower playing with myself ;)

Enjoy this one, and incase you missed the last one you can find it here.

Hotshots

2012-01-16T14:06:00.000-08:00

One of my recent scenes to come out was with Jay Cloud, Rick McCoy, and I for Next Door Twink. It's a pretty hot scene, and if you haven't yet watched it you definitely should (scene).
Here are a few hot screen shots I took of the scene. Enjoy, and let me know what you think of it.

I was bullied, too...

2012-01-13T16:41:00.000-08:00

This is the comment I made that pissed people off (the most recent one, at least). Well, I don't apologize. I stand behind my statement. If you commit suicide because you were bullied, then I don't feel sorry for you. If you became a better person, moved on, and made a great life for yourself, then I care. I don't know what started this fad where you kill yourself just because some unhappy abused little prick chose you as his stress ball, but it's not cool.

I spent the latter part of my childhood in southern Indiana. I was uprooted from my home and my friends in Louisville and taken to a school where there were 60 people in my entire grade, where the dominant religion was I'm-right-Christian, and where anything different was wrong. I dealt with bullying much like these kids deal with today. One guy said to me earlier, "well kids these days have the internet; they can't really escape the bullying."

Well, I had the fucking internet, too. I'm only 20. It hasn't been that long since I graduated from that shit hole that was high school.

I remember being bullied from my first day in fifth grade until I finally stood up for myself almost six years later (for being gay AND for being hispanic). I was picked on, called names, hit, ostracized, called a faggot in front of a hallway full of my peers, transitioning from class to class until they stopped to watch me, the little faggot, get picked on. Many times.

I dealt with A LOT of shit. I remember the first week of my seventh grade year was one of the worst. I remember coming home one night with an x-acto knife that I stole from art class, and learned how to cut myself. If you look closely in some of my pictures, you can still see some of those embarrassing scars still on my hips. I cut myself a lot. Thankfully, I wasn't prone to scar much, but I spent a lot of time trying to cover up a lot of the pain I felt. I wanted to die. I wanted to fucking die so badly. More than that, I wanted to kill myself. I planned it many times back then. I was a weak, dark, depressed child.

Then, I discovered that I liked writing. I discovered that I liked sports. I started doing photography. I started reading. I started learning. I stopped focusing on all the terrible things that were being shoved in my face every day by people who didn't even know me, and I started focusing on me. I started caring about me.

Gradually, people began to forget about me, and when they did try to make fun of me, well, I had matured into such a sarcastic asshole that I could retort quickly and viciously. People then either shied away from me, or they began to like me. By the end of my senior year, I was at the top of my class, one of the most active students in my school (I was asked to paint murals around the school! as well as being involved in a shit-ton of clubs), I became a track and soccer record breaker for my school, and I even became the prom king.

The moral of this isn't you should feel sorry for me because I was bullied, but rather you should look at my first statement, realize why I said what I said, and understand I didn't say it to be cruel. I said it because suicide is fucking dumb. Anyone can kill himself. I could have killed myself. It takes a strong person to stop caring about what everyone else has to say and start focusing on what you yourself think.

Bullying isn't okay, but neither is suicide.

[Just to clarify, I lost two close family members and almost lost a best friend to suicide. I don't take this situation lightly].

"Donkey Dong"

2012-01-11T18:32:00.000-08:00

My Hollywood based fantasy porno. Bask in the absurdity, but keep the drooling to a minimum ;)

Donkey Dong

Scene 1. Flesh and Boner

Setting: Outside, garden. Property is a large, southern farm with a white mansion. It is mid-day and there are five gardeners working and one Gwyneth Paltrow reclining in a lawn chair.

Scene opens: Gwyneth Paltrow is sitting in a lawn chair outside in a garden. There is a book in her left hand, and she is wearing a white sun dress and a large brim hat. Five gardeners (Mexicans) are doing various things around the property, all within 50 meters of Paltrow.

She touches her leg and rubs her thighs with her finger tips. She dips her fingers in her glass of ice tea and lets the drops run down her chest. She flips up her sun dress and flashes her vag like 2008 Paris Hilton stepping out of a car.

One of the workers sees her and points her out to a worker close by. She closes her eyes and takes off her hat, throws it to the side.

“I’m feeling Mexican for lunch” she says. She drops the book and it tips over her glass of tea. The closest worker runs over and offers to get her another glass.

“Oh yes, a big tall one is just what I need right now.” He looks at her with the sweat dripping down his nose. She stands up and licks the sweat up and rips open her shirt. The other Mexicans rush over and she sits down, unzipping the jeans of the first one. She rubs his crotch and pulls out a fifteen inch dick. The other ones pull out their penises and masturbate. They all foreplay indiscriminately with each other and Paltrow for about ten minutes.

Scene fades out and comes back to all five Mexican workers fucking in a daisy chain. Paltrow pulls out a dildo and fucks the first guy in the chain with it.

They pull their dicks out and, in a circle, cum on Gwyneth Paltrow.

Paltrow drops the dildo and stands up. She says, “I feel so refreshed. Now get back to work. I’ll be back in an hour”

Scene 2. Scenes of a Sexual Nature

Setting: Same mansion, indoors, second floor guest room overlooking the garden where the Flesh and Boner scene just took place.

Tom Hardy just watched Gwyneth Paltrow go crazy on her Mexico City buffet and felt strangely turned on. Like most people, he hated bi-sexual porn scenes, but a fifteen inch dick… well…

He rubbed his own dick on the ledge of the window sill until it hurt. He walked over to the bed and threw himself face down, shoved his hands down the face of his jeans and fingered himself like that crazy bitch from Black Swan.

He rolled over on his back and snaked out of his pants.

The pool boy happens to walk by, completely naked (naturally) and leers over into the room, peeking his head in.

He walks into the room and sits on the edge of the bed, leans back, and lets Tom Hardy (a famous actor or some shit) lick his pelvis, pubic hair and balls.

After the foreplay (and a mandatory break for Tom to go douche), the pool-boy (who is nameless so you can fantasize him to be whomever you want) fucks Tom missionary, pony style, double penetrates Tom with his dick and fingers and fucks Tom while holding him in the air.

Then he jacks off all over Tom’s face. It was a mess.

The pool-boy then spits on his knuckles and fists Tom. Then he double fists him. Then he double fists and foots Tom. Then he double fists, double foots Tom while Tom jerks off.

After a few minutes, Tom shoots so hard that his entire load sticks to the wall behind his head.

Tom’s asshole was never the same.

Scene 3. Getting Even with CC McC

Setting: Garage of same mansion. The garage is large and there are two shiny red cars and a large white truck. There are a few rakes and boxes and a giant cross with leather straps on the wall close to the large metal entrance door.

GfP actor and new to the industry “stud” called only CC McC is in the kitchen making a sandwich. He hears something that sounds like Macaulay Culkin dropping a softball in the garage, and he goes to investigate.

Sure enough, not-gay actor Macaulay Culkin is in the garage being naughty. He looks over at CC McC and smiles, licking the softball.

“Wanna play a game?” Culkin asks.

“Sure. I have no dignity and I need the money” responds CC McC.

“The game is hide the softball. First I hide the softball. If you find it, you get to fuck me. If you don’t find it, you get to fuck me since you don’t bottom—cus that’s gay.”

Culkin had CC McC turn around. Culkin shoved the ball in his own ass. “Alright. Go look for it.”

“It’s in your ass.”

“Gasp, how did you know?”

Culkin births the ball and tosses it to the side.

CC McC begins by letting Culkin suck his semi for fifteen minutes while he watches some tranny get plowed in the corner on the monitor of a portable DVD player.

They have to break so CC McC can get hard. Takes a couple minutes, but when he’s ready everything’s good.

CC McC flips Culkin upside down and pile drives him. CC McC looks down and Culkin blows him a kiss. McC turns around and pile drives Culkin backwards. Culkin spit lubes himself up and shoves his bare dick into McC. Fucking each other at the same time and “faking it” really well, this was the best thing anyone had ever seen.

Culkin pulled out his dick and came all over his own chest. McC pulled out, turned back to face Culkin and cum flew everywhere.

The scene ends with McC lying on top of Culkin, rubbing their sticky chests together, kissing and fade to black.

The Birth of Santorum

2012-01-10T13:57:00.000-08:00

Thanks to Urban Dictionary, I recently learned what "santorum" is:

And that got me thinking about the story of the birth of Venus:

You know the part where Cronos cuts off Uranus' penis, and it falls into the sea spewing foam into the water, and from that foamy water Venus is born.

And THAT got me thinking, what if the story went a little more like this:

Uranus was fucking Cronos' ex-girlfriend in "heranus," when pissed off Cronos walks in intent on killing his father anyway for the years of abuse and ostracism. Well, Cronos sees this and is like, "What the fuck is this, Adele?! Are you fucking kidding me?!!! You bitch!" So Cronos kills Adele (a classical Greek name) and stabs his father in the heart. Then, because he's still pissed, he cuts off Uranus' dick from Adele's anus, and he throws into the ocean. Well, since this was the time of Classical Greece and anal douching wasn't a popular thing yet, there was a little santorum on Uranus' dick. From that santorum Aphrodite/Venus (the goddess of love, beauty, pleasure, and procreation) was born.

Moral: Love, beauty, pleasure, and procreation all come from a penis covered in little bits of shit, lube, and ejaculate. And if you think about the world today, isn't that kind of true.

I hope you enjoyed. God bless America.

My Year in Porn

2012-01-09T12:57:00.000-08:00

Around a year ago today I started doing porn. I feel like if I were to crash and burn in a troublingly embarrassing public outburst of emotional instability (you know who you are), get arrested and publicly bashed for physically assaulting someone (you know who you are), or resort to prostitution -- I mean, massage therapy -- in order to pay the bills it would have happened already. And for that, I'd like to thank God, my family, everyone who doubted me (does this sound like an Emmy acceptance speech yet? Good).
[FUN FACT: Hours after I wrote this, I found out I won the Cybersocket award for Best New Comer. What a great way to wrap up my first year. Thanks everyone who voted for me].

That first paragraph was laden with sarcasm, but, to be honest, a year ago I was a skinny twink-type (look for the pics at the bottom!) with no self-confidence masturbating in my bedroom to various porn performers with glee in my eyes and drool on my chin.
I flew out around this time last January to Ft. Lauderdale, Florida to shoot for the very first time with Fabscout. I shot three scenes for Twinks.com (which I hated because I didn't want to be considered a twink), one scene for Dominic Ford, one scene for My Brother's Hot Friend, and did one of Austin Wilde's very first live shows (which was also my very first live show). It was an enjoyable experience. I wasn't as nervous as I thought I was going to be, and I remember Howard telling me very inspiring things about my potential run (if I so chose to continue) in adult thespianism.
About a month later I got booked for five shoots with Next Door Studios. The trip there was an experience in itself. My very first blog post was actually about going to California.
I didn't shoot again until June (with Next Door) when Next Door asked me to be an exclusive model for them. Next Door was a studio for me that fit most of my standards and desires, so I signed with them.
In July I shot The Guys Next Door for Falcon (which was a Falcon/ Next Door collaboration), and shot a hand full of other scenes through the end of the year.
I've gotten to do a lot of fun things (present an award at the Grabby's, go to Toronto Pride, do Market Days, club appearances, etc), and I've gotten to meet a lot of cool people. And despite what anyone thinks, I've had to really work for what I have and what I've done. Networking and knowing people helps, but I never got any free passes for anything because of who I was dating or who I knew.

Porn didn't destroy my life like everyone said it would when I first started, just like drinking and smoking pot every once in a while hasn't destroyed my life (which we were all told in grade school).

One thing Howard told me when he first met that little twinky me in the Ft. Lauderdale airport was "Did you tell your mom? Did you tell your dad? Did you tell your friends? Because people will find out, and you'll lose a lot of 'friends,' but those people weren't your friends to begin with." And sho nuf, he was right; however, I think my life is a lot better now than it was back then.

So, despite what you think, not all people who do porn end up fucked (no pun intended). Just some people ;) but that seems to happen within their first few months (you know who you are). So here's to hoping I have another productive year.

Here's a short anachronistic (a word here which means "not in order") recap of my year in porn:

My very first scene to be released was with Dominic Ford; however, the first scene I shot wasn't released until months after this scene!

My first couple of shoots were with Gio. Look at how shapeless and pale I am. My penis looks great though.

My first shoot with Austin (the best shoot of that week, and hottest sex I had ever had up to that point in my life)

The flyer for my first live show with Austin

These next ones are all images from my first scenes with Next Door

This starts my June thru December scenes

Oh real quick, this was my butt a year ago...

...this is my butt now ;)

Woah, there's my butt, too.

Some events I've done

And that's the end of that year. I hope you enjoyed me, because I'm really hard to get rid of.

Porn Resolutions 2k12

2012-01-08T11:35:00.000-08:00

1. Be in a 50 person Bel-Ami orgy

2. Touch the beards of Zachary Sire, Colby Keller, and Samuel Colt (in no particular order)

3. Make amazing scenes with guys who actually want to work with me

4. Don't get arrested for assault/ don't have a public mental breakdown/ don't appear on The Sword for getting arrested or having a public mental breakdown

www.thesword.com

5. Do a kinky scene

6. Do an extremely hot/ sensual solo scene

7. Get a website (??)

8. Do more club appearances and meet more fans

9. Win a Grabby/ Cybersocket/ Any Award! (PLEASE. I'M DESPERATE)

10. Kris Evans

Stuff I made

2012-01-07T12:28:00.000-08:00

So, I posted a few pictures recently of a few paintings I was working on, and I got some positive remarks. A few people even told me they'd be interested in buying a few things. I decided to post pictures of all of my paintings/ pieces of art, and let people see what I like to do.

If you're interested in owning one of these pieces or have any ideas for a custom piece you might want to own, shoot me a comment/ tweet/ Facebook message/ email and I'll see what I can work out.

(sold)

[sold]

Pretty soon I'm going to start working on a new project. I don't want to give away too many details, but I'm going to start selling a few other things I made (pretty cheap, too). So be on the look out for that.

[edit: That project I was working on is now up! You can purchase photographic prints, posters, stickers, shirts, hoodies, baby clothes and iPod cases from my gallery!]

Like I said, if you are interested in buying one of these or you have an idea for a custom piece you would like to have made, email me at anthonyromeroxxx@gmail.com

Sweet Cheeks

2012-01-04T20:54:00.000-08:00

If a picture is worth a thousand words, by the end of this post you'll have feasted on the oozing semen of at least 30,000 of them.
For those of you who haven't yet seen it, the latest update from www.austinwilde.com is a scene he and I did together with a silicon friend of ours appropriately named "Sweet Cheeks." [the name has since been changed to Mr. Jiggles, but I digress].
If you haven't yet watched this scene, what the fuck are you doing with your life? I normally hate most of my scenes, but I end up masturbating to every scene I do with Austin, because it's usually pretty hot: we're both really into it, it's real GAY sex, passionate, and completely NSFW (which everyone loves).
So, without further ado, I present to you several screen shots I took while masturbat--um, watching the scene. At the end is a link to the scene and a few other goodies.

Let's start off with a few behind the scenes shots:

Now for the scene itself:

Some foreplay and a little choking to get the juices flowing

And how I love to be fingered

I nearly came watching this part. I rewinded it 3 times

Fucking the "Sweet Cheeks"

Me (LOL!)

As you can see, my cock likes this

Pre-fuck lube up

fuck

He came; we feasted, then we kissed. That's true love.

If you aren't hard, then check your dick, because it's broken. I really hope you enjoyed this scene as much as I did. If you haven't, you should get a membership to Austin's site and download the scene so you can watch it for years. Someday you can even pass it on to your grandkids <3

Let Austin and I know what you thought about the scene on twitter (Austin/ I) after you WATCH THE SCENE HERE!

Here's what our friend Phoenix Monroe had to say: Phoenix's Post

And finally, everyone's friend @Pornbiatch live-tweeted the scene. Here's what she had to say:

4 SuperDuper Simple Ways to Get Abs

2012-01-04T11:52:00.000-08:00

1. Methamphetamines
2. Ab implants
3. Photoshop
4. Anexoria

2 SuperDuper Difficult but Effective Ways to Get Abs

1. Diet
2. Exercise

Time spent in the shower

2011-12-30T12:57:00.000-08:00

Which cock?

2011-12-13T17:49:00.000-08:00

How do you like your cock? Big, white, hairy, clean shaven, pierced...? Personally, I like mine with two creams and three sugars...well, and THICK.
Check out the pictures I found of these insanely hot cocks, then vote on your favorite ones below!
Oh, and no masturbating until you're done.

1&2. Cut v Uncut

3&4. Hairy v Shaved

5&6. Black v White

7&8. Pierced v Not Pierced

9&10. Huge balls v Regular balls

11&12. Tattooed v Not tattooed

Just vote for one cock in each category. Now, the question is...

poll by twiigs.com

'Twas the Night Before Chrismas

2011-12-07T10:18:00.000-08:00

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through LA

All the partiers and druggies and homos were away.

Everyone nestled all snug in someone's--anyone's--bed

While visions of [censored] danced in their heads.

I had just laid down for a nice winter's nap

Just after having taken a nice winter's crap.

When all of a sudden from the roof up top

I heard a loud crash, and I called the cops.

A large silhouette squeezed down through the chimney

And I thought to myself, "You have got to be kidding me."

She had a broad face and a little round belly,

That shook when she laughed like a bowlful of jelly.

She was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf;

and I was like WTF is Adele doing in my house?

"Listen bitch," I said with a holiday cheer

"Get out of my apartment, or the cops will be here."

She let out a roar and ran to my pantry,

Where she ate all the cookies I had left out for Santa.

Then she sprang through my window when the cops came to my door,

And she flew away as quickly as she had come before.

I heard her exclaim as she flew out of sight,

Something vague about maybe being in a bad relationship with someone and that person breaking her heart and she's "better now" and she hopes that person "moves on," when clearly that person has moved on and she's the only one holding on to that relationship, and she just needs to stop telling everyone about it because that was one part of the restraining order and she needs to stop driving past my house at night because it's CREEPY, Adele.

And to all a good-night!

No shave November...

2011-11-28T15:49:00.000-08:00

....more like no shave NEVER, amIrite?!
I don't understand why I have such an affinity for facial hair and beards. I've always kind of detested a smooth face. There's just something about the prickly feeling of a hairy face rubbing against my cheeks and lips that makes my pussy wet.
Maybe I love facial hair because I'm attracted to men, manly men at that.
Freud would say I endured a traumatic experience and subconsciously I'm doomed forever to try and reconcile those ramifications by worshipping beards.
Or maybe it's just because I can't really grow that much facial hair and I'm envious -_-....
Whatever the case, I love beards; and I'm not going to question that. Instead I'm going to share some of the best beards I've seen this month. A few of them belong to people you may recognize. Try and see if you can match beard to owner, and send me some of your best beard shots on twitter, @AnthyRomero.

Now see if you can name these seven beards' owners:

Let me know how you did, and remember, stop shaving your fucking face.

Screen shots of Austin Wilde and I fucking

2011-11-21T16:00:00.000-08:00

These screen shots are from two of the scenes I shot with Austin, available on austinwilde.com: "Austin on the Bottom" and "Bar Joke."

Enjoy.

Here's a video...

2011-11-15T18:11:00.000-08:00

... of me fucking myself with a dildo. (Which follows all these pictures of me teasing you first).

Insanely hot gifs I found of myself on the internet

2011-11-12T06:29:00.000-08:00

(You have to click on an image to see the gif. You can scroll through them once you click on one. Enjoy) ;)

I like men...

2011-11-01T17:06:00.000-07:00

I like my men like I like cucumbers (but I would never put a cucumber in my asshole).

I like my men like I like my coffee, kinda brown-ish.

I like my men like I like my underwear, tight.

I like my men like I like my showers, long and with lots of genital play.

I like my men like I like highway construction, ten years old.

I like my men like I like my paper, ripped.

I like my men like I like my sunglasses, on my face.

I like my men like I like my coffee (I don’t really like coffee).

I like my men like I like my men, like men.

I like my men like I like my toilets, not full of shit.

I like my men like I like my shadow, kinda black, but not too black.

I like my men like I like half-black guys with big dicks.

I like my men like I like my pillows, with my dick seven inches inside it.

I like my men like I have a boyfriend, by the way…

I like my men like I like my porn, gay.

I like my men like I like my dog, kinda black but part white, too.

I like my men like I like premarital sex, a lot.

“I like my men like I like my coffee. Ground up and in the freezer.” @JPTomblin

“I like my men like I like my cocaine; packaged with care and inside a Columbian named Paco.” @NotFreshJstEasy

“i like my men like i like big dicks !” @diegoodar

“I like my men like I like my teddy bear. Furry and Mute!” @JasonSKC

"I like my men like I like my Big Mac, two beef patties and special sauce between the buns." Corey Joseph

CHARLIE II

2011-10-28T09:00:00.002-07:00

Charlie's Halloween costume (Canius Caesar).

Now, it may look like Charlie's struggling, but he was actually barking at Austin to give it to him harder.

*I fucken hate you guys*

Charlie also likes Bel-Ami boys.

He wouldn't trade us for the world (only for a plate of scrambled eggs).

Homemade Protein Bars

2011-10-26T17:19:00.000-07:00

I just made these homemade protein bars for the second time. The first time they were pretty good. They’re cheaper than normal protein bars, and I can control what goes in these bars. No ridiculous amounts of sugar, disgusting taste, preservatives, nor any of the other nasty shit that gets pumped into those useless mass-produced shit-bars.

And since I’m such a nice guy, I thought I’d share my recipe with you.

(mmmmmm… [this isn’t really what they look like. Mine aren’t nearly as pretty]).

I’m going to make the directions linear, that way you can follow them paso-a-paso (step-by-step), because when it comes to comprehending overly convoluted directions, I operate like a fucking dumbass.

1: Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.

2: Get an 8x8 pan (or something similar in size) and pour in about a tablespoon of cooking oil (and spread the oil around with a paper towel, making sure to also get the sides) or spray with pan with cooking oil spray.

3: In a microwave safe bowl, combine and stir together

-1 cup of whole grain quick oats

-1 1/4 cup of milk (preferably skim)

4: Cook that for 60 seconds. Stir and allow to cool for a few minutes; mix in

- 2 egg whites

5: In a large mixing bowl, combine

-2 scoops whey protein powder

-2 tablespoons of sugar

-¼ cup milled flaxseed

-2 tablespoons flour

-1 tablespoon of cocoa powder or Nesquik (whatever you have)

-¾ teaspoon of baking powder

-1/8 teaspoon salt

6: Add the oatmeal mixture to the dry mixture. Mix.

7: Microwave for 60 seconds, or until slightly melting

-½ of a cup of peanut butter

-2 tablespoons of Nutella (if you have it, if not then just use more peanut butter)

-Handful of mixed nuts, dried fruits, bugs, hair, whatever the fuck you want, it’s your fucking protein bar

8: Add the peanut butter mixture to the other bowl of mixed shit, and mix again mother fucker.

9: Pour the shit into the pan and place on the TOP RACK OF THE 350 DEGREE OVEN to bake. You’ll want to set your timer for 10 minutes (DON’T OPEN THE FUCKING OVEN UNTIL THEN), and check to see if it’s done by inserting a toothpick into the center. If the toothpick is clean (I’m imagining someone sticking his dick into someone else and pulling it out and checking it…), anyway, if the toothpick is clean then it’s done. Chances are it won’t be done, so let it bake for a few more minutes and check it then. Keep baking it until it’s cooked.

10: Pull the pan out once it’s done and set it on the stove so it doesn’t melt your counter top or accidentally burn someone.

11: Once it’s cooled, then you can eat it. DO NOT EAT UNTIL COOLED. (You were warned).

So you probably tasted them before they cooled, but that’s okay. You could probably get about 10 large bars from this (maybe more), and that breaks down to about $0.50 per bar. That is pretty fucking amazing.

The nutritional facts (based on you cutting that tray into 10 bars) is approximately:

Calories 200

Fat 10g (not saturated fat, which is bad for you, but fat your body needs)

Carbs 15g

Fiber 4g

Sugar 9g

Protein 16g

+Various vitamins, minerals, Omega-3 fatty acids, and essential amino acids

At the end of it all, these bars are relatively inexpensive and pretty fucking good for you. Let me know if you tried making them and what you think, twitter: @Anthyromero

pic of the day

2011-10-20T17:44:00.000-07:00

Hair

2011-10-17T14:46:00.001-07:00

Trimmed or natural? Or shaved? Or partially shaved? Or waxed? Or trimmed here and natural there? Or…

I asked my twitter followers and facebook friends one question: how should people keep their body hair. I got a few people who said they prefer natural body hair, fewer who said shaved, but a majority of people said they prefer trimmed hair.

Before I talk about this any further, let me show you a few pictures of porn (and body hair in porn) through the decades.

The 70’s was kinda the epitome of hairiness.

(weren't expecting that one, were ya?)

The 80’s also had its fair share of hair.

The 90’s had more and more guys shaving themselves.

The early 2000’s: a mixture of hairy, shaved, and trimmed.

In 2011, just like in earlier decades, there is a fair amount of hairy, trimmed and shaved guys.

(you like how I slipped this one in ;) ?)

Of all the searches I did, I kept getting pictures that exceeded my expectations. I mean, when I googled "70's porn," I really expected to get just bush. And when I searched for "90's porn," I expected a bunch of hairless boys. What I got was a mixture of hairless, trimmed and natural. Granted, the 70's was all about hair and the 90's mostly about shaving, there were still a fair amount of people who did whatever the fuck they wanted with their body hair.

That made me think, when it comes down to it, there’s no one way people should keep their body hair. It’s all preference. Most people tend to agree that trimmed is a nice look (it's definitely a courtesy for the guy who's eating your ass), but sometimes shaved/natural can be pretty hot. I've heard from a lot of studios and a few different agents that hair is “in style,” and from the responses I got most people don’t like shaved either (hear that, straight guys?).

While it’s all a matter of personal preference, c’mon, hair can be kinda hot and sometimes hairless can be too. Don’t believe me, take a look at a few of these and tell me you disagree ;)

Charlie

2011-10-12T16:52:00.000-07:00

"im always geting in trobble." @romero_charlie (twitter, yes, I made my dog a twitter).
I got Charlie almost two months ago. The first two weeks were unbearable. It was so hard being patient with him and trying to house train him. I won't lie, I lost my patience a lot and yelled at him a lot. But I soon learned that's not how you treat something you love. I haven't had Charlie very long but I love him; and he's probably the only thing to ever love me back so unconditionally.

Fuck You, Back Pain

2011-10-11T18:32:00.000-07:00

If you’re like me or any of the other 700 trillion other Americans, you suffer some kind of back pain; and most people will have you believe you can’t do anything about it. You have to adapt your lives because for the next however-long-you-decide-to-live you’re going to be bottoming for some serious uncomfortable and range-restricting back problems.

I have terrible lower back issues. I think it started around my junior year in high school. I played three sports, spent a few hours a week in the gym, and liked to go running. I started having problems during swim season and my post-swim workouts. The problems persisted into track season. I even took prescription pain killers just to be able to walk around normally (well, my Bosnian friend said they were prescription)…

Anyway, after years of dealing with back problems I learned a few things—one of those things was you can fix your problems! Yea, the amazing thing about the body is that it can heal itself. Sometimes it just takes a little work.

1. Unless you have a prescription or doctor recommendation, cool it on the pain pills! Follow the recommended dosage and recognize that there can be side effects to even pain medication.

2. STRETCH. In the beginning I found out that if I stretched my lower back really well, my pain would alleviate throughout the day. Simple stretches like toe-touches, leaning back, cat stretch, and side stretches really helped.

3. Sit up. When you spend all day slouching, you put excess pressure on your spine that it’s not used to dealing with (your back muscles and abdomen muscles are supposed to work together to keep you upright).

4. Stop doing floor crunches.

5. Start doing lower back exercises. Google “lower back exercises.” There are dozens. Do the exercises slowly and with good form.

6. Do abdomen exercises. As stated before, your back muscles and ab muscles work together to keep you upright. Work on your abs, just don’t do them on the floor, because that position allows your spine to lie flat which is NOT a natural position for your spine. Instead

7. Keep your spine curved. Your spine has a natural curve, and sometimes when we do exercises we forget to keep that curve, especially when we do bench exercises. There’s a reason the backs of most chairs have a curve in them. I found out when I worked out (especially lifting heavy weights with my legs) my back would be in so much pain I would have to quit. Then I realized I wasn’t keeping my spine properly curved, rather pushing it flat against the bench. Once I remember proper form, my back pain started getting better.

8. Massages help. Ice doesn’t. Heat doesn’t. Ice and heat only temporarily distract from pain; however, there is some evidence that regular massages *can* help.

9. Sleep on your side. When you sleep on your back (I don’t care how good you think your bed is) your spine is forced into an awkward shape and ergo suffers.

Lastly,

10. See a doctor. I’m not a doctor. Take my advice with a grain of salt and talk to someone who has a degree in helping you.

NSFW

2011-10-02T16:59:00.000-07:00

A Body for Sin

2011-09-26T14:53:00.000-07:00

Swimsuit season is almost over. All that time you spent in the gym this Spring preparing for summer and trying to remain faithful to those resolutions has slowly dwindled, right? Most people only work out when they have an event coming up for which they need to look good (summer, weddings, etc.) Working out can be hard and boring, BUT even I realize that. I fucking hate going to the gym sometimes. That's why I sat down and wrote this post with plenty of tips and exercises to help or educate you a little more on fitness.

I’ve written about diet and exercise before, Ask Anthony, but over the last few months I received more questions asking about particular exercises. I’m going to give you a few general tips about exercising and a few special exercises.

We tend to get set in our own gym routines not realizing that, over time, those routines become less and less effective. Well, here are a few special exercises that target specific “areas of interest” (i.e., butt, Adonis belt, chest) that might help you break through that "plateau" and hopefully help you see more results.

Core

In my opinion, the hardest thing to see results from is the core. The abdomen. That’s probably because our bodies tend to directly reflect our diets, and if our diet is shit, then, well, you are what you eat… But getting a ripped stomach isn’t as difficult as it seems. It’s just really, really uncomfortable and arduous.

One standard exercise that you see most people doing (lazily) is crunches, either on an ab machine, the floor or an exercise ball. Forget that. Most people don’t do them right anyway.

The alternatives: hanging leg raise and wood chopper.

The hanging leg raise: This works out primarily your lower abs. You do this anywhere you see people doing chin-ups. Grab on to the handle bar overhead and raise your legs together to your chest, let them down slowly, exhaling. Repeat a minimum of 15 times. That’s called resistance training—pushing the weight away (or in this case, pulling it in) fast and lowering it slowly to engage your muscles longer. To make this a little more challenging, grab a 5, 10 or 15 pound weight with your feet.

Wood chopper: This exercise works out your entire core, primarily your obliques. To do this, you need to use a pulley machine. Either set the handle to your shoulder or all the way up (both are great exercises and work slightly different areas) and set to your desired weight (for high weight, do fewer reps, and vice versa). Grab the handle with your right hand and place your left hand over your right. Take a big step away from the machine with the handle in your hand, then step forward. Keeping your arms locked, twist just your core as though you were swinging an axe into a tree (or if you set the handle up high, you'd swing down like you were chopping into a piece of wood), then release slowly. Repeat with the other side, grabbing the machine with your left hand, stepping away from the machine then out.

Butt

Being born with a nice ass is great. But most of us have to work for our asses. Some people can run inclines and get their ass built up. Others can run stairs or do Pilates. There are a few machines that in the gym that work your butt a little (one particular leg machine and a “glute isolator machine” that seems to work mostly your quads). BUTT, the best exercise I ever learned about that helped build my ass muscles is the power squat.

The power squat is easy. The form isn’t. Too many people do this exercise wrong and end up just working out their quad muscles rather than most of their legs and glutes. The correct way to do a power squat is to set up a bar or machine with your desired weight, then stand in with the bar or pads on your shoulders. Spread your legs to shoulder width or just farther, pick up the weight, lower it slowly until your knees make a 90 degree angle and push the weight back up. Repeat 5-10 reps. Increase the weight (I recommend using a spotter, but then that does give you the opportunity to ask a really hot trainer to help you out) and repeat.

Chest

A built chest is an amazingly sexy thing. Chest exercises are really simple and pretty standard, that is to say, most people work out their chest. While there’s nothing wrong with that, people tend to get stuck in a particular routine and stop seeing results. In order to keep your body growing and avoid the plateau effect (where you stop seeing results) you have to stop doing the same old things: bench presses, chest presses, pushups, etc.

Two exercises that target different parts of your chest (the center and upper parts. Most people tend to work out the side and lower sections because those are the easiest and most convenient) are the incline chest press and the fly.

Incline chest press: This works your upper chest. You start with any machine that has a large bar and an adjustable seat. Adjust the seat to between flat and sitting straight up, about 45 degrees. Load up the bar with the desired weights (high weights should probably call for a spotter, another opportunity for you to ask any attractive guy for a little assistance). Lift then slowly lower the bar to about an inch or two above your chest, then raise, repeat. I recommend 3 sets of 6-8 reps of high weights to build muscle, or 4 sets of no less than 10 reps of medium weight to build leaner, less bulky muscle.

Fly: This exercise works the center of your chest, or your cleavage. You can either do this on the Fly machine or with pulley cables. I recommend cables since you can adjust them easier. The machine takes you out of your natural range of motion. For this exercise, lower the handles to just below your shoulders and set your desired weight. Grab the handles; take a few steps forward and either stand with your feet together or bracing yourself with one leg back and one forward with the knee bent on your front leg. Push the handles forward, squeezing your chest tightly, and then release slowly.

Legs

Lunges. They suck, but they work! They engage your quads (the front of your leg), hamstrings (the back), glutes (butt) and calves (calves). Some people asked me for different exercises for their legs because their bodies had become used to their old routine. Well, this is it. Not many people do lunges, especially since there are three dozen different machines that work each and every little muscle on your body.

Well, as I said before, lunges are a great way to work out almost your entire lower body. That means you do one exercise rather than 36 machines!

Lunges are easy and no one ever could possibly fuck them up, and, despite what you may think, you can do them standing in one spot—you don’t have to go all the way across the gym like those other assholes. In order to make them a little more challenging and more of a workout, grab a dumbbell in each and (45-60 lbs should work for most people).

Stand wherever you like (my favorite place is right in front of the wall of mirrors) and step forward with one foot, bending both your front knee and back knee to 90 degree angles. Squat until your back knee almost touches the floor, then stand up and bring your front foot to where you first had it (never move your back foot). Then alternate feet, stepping forward with that foot, squatting, then standing. Repeat 3-5 sets of 20-30 reps.

Your legs should burn. They will probably hurt the next day, but over time they will stop being sore. That means in a few weeks you’ll have to either increase sets, reps and/or weights. But don’t do any one exercise more than 2 or 3 times a week, and never two days in a row. Your muscles need time to rest.

Back

The last part of the body I’ll be talking about is the back. Ripped backs are just as sexy as built chests, but can be just as annoying to work out. Have you any idea how many muscles make up your back? Again, you could do dozens of machines to work different parts, or you can do this one exercise (if you’re strapped for time) to work out most of your back in one go.

It’s called the lat press. Lats are the biggest muscles in your back, so why not work them out? The procedure is easy, you go over to a machine with pulley cables, set the clip as high as it can go, attach a small bar. Then you set the weight rather high, stand with your feet together, grab the bar palms down, and lower the weight. Do about 8 reps of that, 3 times, lowering the weight a bit between each set. Make sure to maintain your form and don't push the weight down with your whole body, just your lats (those muscles on your sides, right behind your obliques).

Hopefully you got a few useful tips from this post. Maybe you can add to your already existing workout or use a few of these exercises when you don’t have long in the gym. My last tip for you would be to research. There’s nothing more useful than looking up how other people exercise. I am, to this day, still learning about different exercises and different ways to intensify my own workouts, and I’ve lived in the gym since I was about thirteen.

Research is your best learning tool. By far the best source of information would be right in front of you in the gym—other people. While you’re creeping around next time, looking at asses and cock and bulges, try looking at what those pieces of meat are actually doing. You might pick up a few interesting exercises you didn’t know about before.

Lastly, the best thing you can do to make sure you continue toward your goal and don't "plateau" is to constantly switch up your exercises. After about a month (maybe even sooner than that) your body will become used to what you are doing; that means you have to either do an exercise longer, do more weights, do more reps, or switch up your routine all together. That's important to remember if you want to keep seeing results and building that amazing body.

Oh, and remember, diet is an integral part of any exercise regimen. I know exactly what it’s like to be stricken with temptation and eat copious amounts of unhealthy shit. We all do. That just means you have to work that ass harder the next day.

Thanks for reading! Ask me any remaining questions via Twitter at, @anthyromero.

In case you missed it...

2011-09-14T10:32:00.000-07:00

My Newest Scene

2011-08-29T11:58:00.000-07:00

Is it wrong to jack off to one of your own scenes? I asked, and the consensus was no.

I asked because this morning my newest scene was released! I was excited because I hadn’t had a scene come out in a few months. This one is a solo scene on nextdoormale.com.

In this scene, I’m just a boy in a basement with an abnormally large dildo, anal beads, a sex bench and a large mirror. In this scene, I’m just a boy jerking off to himself jerking himself off. In the trailer you only get to see part of the excitement (my penis + my asshole + a nice dildo + me masturbating/fucking myself against my reflection). Pretty hot still. The part you don’t get to see is the anal beads, me deep throating the dildo (which was actually pretty hot), the other fourteen minutes of me fucking myself with that dildo, and my glorious unabridged and uninterrupted cumshot.

If you want to see all of the action (and it’s pretty good. Believe me, I was there), then you have to sign up for the site (after which you gain access to dozens of other sites).

You can view the trailer for my scene here and visit the Next Door blog, which has a little caption about my scene. Tell me what you think on twitter, @anthyromero. Thanks!

My Top 5 Moments in Detroit

2011-08-28T18:54:00.000-07:00

Who here has ever been to Detroit? Well, this past Friday was my first time. I was there with my boyfriend for a club appearance at ICE. I had a lot of fun, and I want to recount my shenanigans; however, I don’t just want to ramble on like a self-important asshole. Thus, I decided to draft a list, a little countdown of the top moments I experienced this weekend. Believe me you’re going to want to sit back and read this ;)

5. Converting the Bisexual Frat Boy

The first night I arrived in Detroit (Friday) Austin and a few friends of his took me to clue Necto in Ann Arbor near the University of Michigan. It was a three story building nothing short of a college twink fest (I think that’s a fantastic idea for a porn studio right there). The interesting part was a few hours after we had arrived, met too many people and settled in one of the booths. At this point our group consisted of me, Austin, Austin’s two friends, Austin’s friend’s friend, Austin’s friend’s ex-boyfriend and Austin’s friend’s ex-boyfriend’s “bisexual” frat brother (you know? bi now gay later). Right? So the entire night Austin thought it would be funny to make the little guy uncomfortable by grinding all over him. Then he told the guy to take his shirt off, and, if that wasn’t uncomfortable enough, made the poor thing dance in front of everyone.

4. Kicking the VIP out of VIP

So. You all know those people who come up to you asking if you remember them from some event months ago, right? Well, a staff member in Necto, let’s call him Tony (because I didn’t care to remember his name. I hope he doesn’t ask me if I remember it later) said he knew Austin and was pretty enthusiastic about it. (Needless to say, Austin didn’t remember him). BUT, the best part was without a hesitant thought Tony said, “Do you all want a VIP boot.” In conjunction, we nodded our heads and smiled, asked for Patron (would you expect anything less?) and told him we wanted one of the booths in a balcony. A little later we decided we didn’t like that booth because we felt like it was disconnected from the rest of the club. We called Tony over and asked him if we could move to one next to the main dance floor. He said sure, but when we looked over at it the booth was full of people already. “It’s okay, give me a minute to kick them out and set it up for you guys,” said Tony. And as Tony walked away, we all laughed (I think the kids call it lol-ing. I would go so far as to say we were almost rotflol, or even latnaloaoat), because he was seriously about to kick a group of people out of the VIP booth just for us.

3. The Homeless Guy Who Doesn’t Just Ask for Change

Day two, Saturday, found Austin and me walking back to the hotel from the gym. It was a short but dangerous walk, as there were homeless men everywhere aggressively soliciting spare change. See, in Detroit, the homeless seem to be completely fearless and utterly tenacious. They don’t take no for an answer. One such man figured out quickly that people don’t like to be harassed for their spare metal. This is how it went:

“Aye man, you know what. You know what. You look like somebody. You know who you look like?” The homeless dude said to Austin.

“Vin Diesel?” I said.

“Aye man, how did you know, how did you know thass what I was thinkin?” He exclaimed as he spit in my eye and on my arm, following us down the block as we walked away. “Aye man, I’m not those other guys. I’m not just gonna ask for money. I’m gonna compliment you first. But aye, seriously you got any change…?”

2. The Lesbian with Balls

Saturday night we were hanging out at ICE (like we were supposed to) sucking down Patron from plastic cups like it was going out of style. We were hanging out by the bar for the convenience of not having to return every three minutes for another drink. A group of lesbians, two of whom are making out right next to us, caught our attention and we turned to them. I smiled and Lesbian 1 who was standing next to the other two face suckers said, “Yeah [Lesbian 2] is my girlfriend and she’s making out with our friend [Lesbian 3]. But [Lesbian 3] is also my girlfriend. Yeah, she likes getting fucked by my boyfriend.” At which point we laughed and walked away fast. (I couldn’t make this shit up!)

Well, surprise! As the night went on the emotionally unstable trifecta started to fight, ending ultimately with Lesbian 1 grabbing Lesbian 2 in a headlock and throwing her on one of the couches. L1 yelled at L2 and squeezed tighter until the owner of ICE came over and told them to quit their bullshit. THEN, up sprang Lesbian 4! The plot thickens! She jumped between the owner of ICE and the Vagina Monologues, yelling WHOTHEFUCKAREYOU and FUCKINLEAVETHEMALONE. With one stiff index finger, the owner pointed to the door, “You’re gone. You’re gone. You’re gone,” he said to all three. In two blinks the bouncers came and got rid of them all. (As we left the club two hours later at 2 a.m., L1 and L2 were still outside arguing.

1. 23+ inches of cock

That’s it. You’ve made it to the number one top moment of my weekend in Detroit. This one is called 23+ inches of cock for a good reason. That’s because I awoke beside Austin this bright Sunday morning with 23+ inches of cock in my bed. Divvy that up how you see fit (because I’m going to leave all the details up to you and your naughty imaginations ;)

BUT, the best part was as Austin and I walked back from lunch I looked at him and said, “Um, what was his name?”

He looked at me and we laughed.

MUAH

Me looking like a douche bag, totally on purpose

To all the people I met, the people I hung out with and to all the people I wrote about behind their backs in this little post-- theeeenks! I had fun. Can't wait to go back! (yes I can).

For Austin's p.o.v. of the weekend, visit his blog. And get at us on twitter, @anthyromero and @austinwilde.

My Amaz'in Shit List

2011-08-22T17:21:00.000-07:00

I always see people with their little Amazon Wish Lists and laugh to myself. I always thought they were a little pretentious, thinking "Who the fuck is actually going to buy you gifts?"

Turns out, lots of people will.

So I made one. But that didn't stop me from having a little fun with it ;)

Check out my Amaz'in Shit List, and, please, buy me things!!!

My Amaz'in Shit List [if that don't werk, go to amazon and search my email, anthonyromeroxxx@gmail.com]

Theeeeeeeeeeeenks!

Market Gays

2011-08-16T11:53:00.000-07:00

My first Market Days was a blast. No one ended up in the hospital, and no one ended up in jail (well, none of us did ;)

I've only been to Chicago twice (the first time was for the Grabby's) but I had fun each time I went. I was there with my buddies Samuel O'Toole, Tucker Scott, James Huntsman and my boyfriend Austin Wilde.

(here are the pictures)

One flyer for our event, Body Heat, at club Spin. This particular one was located in the bathroom right in front of a urinal. I wonder how many people got hard looking at this ;)

awww.... this is the beginning of the first day at Market Days at our booth. This, I believe, was taken right before the giant storm came crashing through.

I had no idea what Market Days was about at first, nor did I know how many people would be there. Later I found out you're just supposed to be drunk and half-naked the whole time. Fine bi me.

Seeing a larger-than-life-size me was pretty cool.

We didn't take one full breath for 10+ hours because we were flexing the whole time.

I'm cuter.

Amy! She brought us a bottle of Patron and two packages of Oreos. She's my new favorite person ;)

First time in a bathhouse (Steamworks). It was nice that we didn't have to pay to get in, but jeez I wanted to go take a shit at one point and I walked to the bathroom, looked back and there were five guys following me. So I announced I wanted to just shit, and they stood there. So I left the bathroom. I tried that about four times before I could actually take that shit.

That awaited me when I stepped out of the stall....

Now for the debauchery.

Manila Luzon. I was such a little girl about meeting her. Ask Austin. And once I met her I was quiet and shy. Ha.

Two of Chicago's (real) police happened to come by. As you can see we gave them DVD's of our scenes ;)

Ug look at me. I'm such a fan-girl

I don't really remember the shower show, but I hope I didn't look stupid. Although, there are a few pictures that tell me I did.

My judging face.

Jade Sotomayor. Darling performer, hilarious queen, super nice all around.

And that's all. I think it was a pretty successful weekend. Like I said, no one ended up in jail/the hospital. Although at one point I did find myself on a balcony at night, half-naked with a megaphone in my hand, drunkenly asking how lesbians have sex. One got mad then asked how gay men have sex. I told her we take dicks like champions.
So, after three days of wearing only underwear, sucking in that gut, visiting the bathhouse, taking 1000+ pictures, meeting so many nice people, doing naughty things in front of kids/police officers, one Grand Theft Auto wannabe taxi driver, three assholes escorted away by security, six bottles of Patron, drunken megaphone antics, two shower shows and lots of other naughty naughty things that I won't mention... Thanks Chicago.